Drowning

I sink deep into my thoughts,
my mind racing like the river waters.
I can’t think, I’m drowning,
someone please, I need oxygen.
I can’t breathe,
I can’t shake this feeling of isolation,
only to find that its all in my head.
I’m sinking deeper, deeper in thought.
I can’t get out, its something I dread.
All alone, this place I’m in,
knocking me down like a ball crashing into pins.
It’s weight is heavy, unbearable…
Why keep going? because of my kids..
If only you knew,
I think I’d be better off dead.
I serve no purpose here,
wait… I don’t think y’all hear ME.
I’m tired of the pain, I’m tired of life itself.
Just want to get the San Antonio,
and get the glass off the shelf…
pour me a drink, sit and think,
about the past and what could have been.
What if I lived in a stable home?
What if I didn’t feel so alone?
The sadness and sorrow,
my heart is so hollow..
Again, I sink.
Deep in my thoughts.
Will I ever get out of these shackles and locks?